Spiritual Wellness

Spiritual Wellness

As opposed to materiality, spirituality is always invisible, immeasurable, but present and lasting. It is like the wind—it is invisible and yet palpable. It provides guidance, direction, and understanding to the mind. Spirituality takes the form of love, joy, and peace, and it is often expressed in human actions and behaviors. Materiality, on the other hand, is always visible, measurable, and transient. Humans need both spirituality and materiality: the former to understand the self, and the latter to understand the world and the universe around the self. Spirituality not only inspires the mind but also energizes the body—it is a body-mind-spirit connection necessary for the total wellness of an individual.

The pivotal role of spirituality

Your whole being is composed of the physical, the mental, and the spiritual. Your body—the physical—is controlled by your mind—the  mental—which is supervised by your soul—the spiritual. Your spirituality oversees your whole being. Nothing transforms you as much as changing from a mundane to a spiritual attitude towards all your everyday problems.

Living in the physical world is challenging in itself. The challenges often turn themselves into toxins that infest the body as well as the mind. A mind is supposed to control the body, but an infested mind loses much of its control over the body, and thus letting the body do whatever it wants to do, and thus poisoning both the body and the mind. The role of the soul is to provide the mind with instructions and inspirations on how to take care of the body. But the toxins of the mind can also poison the soul, and thus not only stunting the growth of spirituality but also disconnecting the mind from its spiritual source.

There are often times when the mind is at a loss, confused, and helpless, and that is when the soul can be its inspiration and its awakening agent, provided the mind is willing to seek the help of the soul.

Letting go to attain wellness of the soul

Material attachment is a toxic thought that connects material things to the ego of an individual in the physical world. It is the reluctance of that individual to let go of material things that define who that individual thinks he or she is. Attachment to the ego-self and its related material things is the source of human woes, which impact the body and the mind, and ultimately contaminate the soul.

Bottom line: Let go of your ego-self (the gravitational center of attachment). At some point in your life, you have to let go of all your material things because they do not last, and neither do they define who you are. Letting go is the pathway to spiritual wellness.

In addition, emotional attachment is also a toxic thought that is a stumbling block to attaining spiritual wellness. For example, bitterness is a common and rampant toxic thought that batters the mind and bruises the soul. Bitterness cherishes anger, which often turns itself into rage, seeking revenge. Bitterness ultimately devastates the soul.

The bottom line: Do not justify your bitterness. The hurt never justifies the bitterness. Any desire for justice (making it personal) stains and blemishes the soul. Just let go of any attachment to bitterness.

”Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:14-15)

Envy is another attachment that tarnishes the soul. Envy is tantamount to rejecting your own blessings because you are counting the blessings of others rather than yours. Envy is about comparing yourself with others. In life, it is important to believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, how can you believe in your Creator? One of the obstacles to believing in yourself is comparing yourself with others. You are who you are; don't try to be someone else that you are not. Envy leads to craving: "wanting more and more" (greed) or "wanting more for less" (taking unfair advantage of others).

The bottom line: Be grateful for what you have; rejoice with those who have more. Let go of attachment to envy.

Fear is a debilitating toxic thought for the toxic soul. This toxic thought is manifested in many forms, such as fear of an outcome (disappointment), fear of loss (refusal to let go), fear of the future (lack of self-belief, or faith in the Creator), and fear of rejection (non-acceptance by others).

Jesus said: "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" (Matthew 6:27)

"Without faith it is impossible to please God." (Hebrews 11:6)

The bottom line: Let go of "what-ifs" from your mind; nobody knows the future anyway.

Strengthening spirituality

Spirituality is the wisdom to believe—believe in doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong. Many people are spiritual, even though they may not have a religion; they still believe that there is a Higher Being who is in control of the universe and what is happening around, such as the sun always comes out in the east. They are spiritual when they have a heart that feels for themselves as well as for others.

But how does one become more spiritual?

Your soul is your spirituality. Use your consciousness to strengthen your inherent spirituality: be aware of your body-mind-soul connection. Always seek spiritual wisdom.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)

Simplify your life. Clear away all the physical clutters in your life as the first step towards freeing yourself from your material and mundane attachments. Material things do not define who you are. Once you have let go of the physical clutters in your living environment, you may then get to know more about yourself, especially your needs and values, instead of your desires and wants. Remember, needs and wants are not the same; your wants often create toxic desires and their accompanying toxic emotions, resulting in your attachments.

Learn to look within yourself for answers to your life problems: you will become more self-reliant and self-sufficient. Find your inner voice: what you love to do, and what touches your heart and your soul. Your inner self knows the truth when you hear it. Nobody knows you better than yourself—just as there is no better physician than yourself, who know what is best for your body. This intuitive wisdom is self-healing, which gives you a healthier body and mind to nourish your soul. Consciously improve your everyday attitudes and feelings, not just about yourself, but also towards others around you. Each and every moment in your day-to-day interactions with people may provide an opportunity for you to become more spiritual, if you consciously avail yourself of that opportunity to see miracles in your life. Using Mother Teresa’s example, begin by conveying warmth to someone who least expects it, and this generous gesture of compassion is a strong testament to your innate spirituality. It is your spiritual thinking that causes your personality and daily interactions with others to become an expression of your soul: your daily actions speak you mind. A healthy mind is full of spirituality.

Feed your mind with positive thoughts to avoid any distorted thinking that may disenfranchise your soul. Consistently replenish your soul with spiritual feelings, such as unconditional love, generosity, gratitude, and forgiveness, among others. Love melts your resistance to change for the better; without love, you simply continue to perpetuate that you resist, such as resisting to letting go. Generosity is freely giving your time and effort to others, as well as to yourself; it is paying others forward without any selfish interest or expectation. Gratitude will not make you compare your current state of health or wealth with that of others; gratitude is a great attitude in overcoming toxic thoughts of envy and greed that you may still attach to at the back of your mind. Forgiveness is a necessary requirement for health and healing of the mind and the soul; forgive yourself as well as others for all the mistakes done by you, or by others to you—mistakes are necessary for the learning process in life and the empowerment of the soul. Never look back in anger. Just let go of the past.

Spirituality, at a deeper level, means a desire to have a personal relationship with your Creator. Learn to pray. Prayers work by altering your brain chemistry. Like anti-depressant drugs, prayers can help you build up the feeling-good brain chemicals, such as serotonin. Prayers restore your hope, strength, and even health.

With the desire to believe, comes the awareness of your inner longings, as wells as your consciousness of an inner voice speaking to you—the growth and development of spirituality. Then, you must persist and persevere in your search and pursuit of spirituality, such as daily prayers and acts of right mindedness. Finally, further down the road, life crises and daily problems along your life journey may, surprisingly, further awaken you to your own innate spirituality.

The Six-Day-War Miracle

God created the Six-Day-War Miracle.

God promised Abraham that he would be the father of a great and prosperous nation with millions of people.

But Israel had its people living in slavery in Egypt for generations, had its people wandering in wilderness for years, had its people with Jewish identification decimated and dispersed by the Roman Empire, and had its 6 million Jews killed in the Holocaust by the Nazis during World War II.

But God had not forgotten His chosen people, as evidenced by His many modern miracles, including the Six-Day War Miracle.

On June 5, 1967, a war broke out between Israel and Egypt and other Arab countries in the Middle East. The Egyptians had two times more soldiers, four times more aircrafts, and five times more tanks than the Israelites. The objective of the war was annihilation of the Jews—the “Second Holocaust.”

Given that there was no involvement and no support from Great Britain and the United States, while Egypt was backed up by the Soviet Union, the anticipated annihilation of Israel was certain and imminent.

But a miracle happened. The war lasted only six days. By the end of the day on June 5, Israeli pilots had won full control of the skies over the Middle East. Israel had destroyed 450 planes of Egypt while Israel lost only19 of its 100 planes.

Due to many mistakes and false reports of victories reported by the Egyptians and their allies, the war ended in lightning speed of victory for Israel within six days.

The miracle of the “Six-Day War” continued like the fig tree: Israel not only survived but also thrived, and eventually it was recognized as an independent nation by the United Nation.

Living by faith: God is timeless.  Humans must have patience and perseverance with faith, trust, and obedience in God. Human expectations only distance themselves from God. 

Stephen Lau

miracles

Becoming a Person of Faith

Becoming a person of faith, you’ll also look at living very differently. For example, if your parents asking you to tell a “white lie”, such as saying you “love” some food that you really don’t like, you must say "no" because of God’s truth. Your faith will also stop you from forming the habit of lying in your life.

On the other hand, if your parents or those around you are controlling, dominating, and even abusive, your faith will help you respond positively. God says you should not only “honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12), but also “obey” them. Your obedience may not lead to their “love” and “approval” of you, but it will lead to the help of the Holy Spirit in changing them. Remember: God is “a father to the fatherless.” (Psalm 68:5) 

So, surrender your will to God, and let His Holy Spirit  work in your heart throughout your life. The next step to take is forgiving your loved ones for their abuse and wrongdoings and praying for them. Then, let go of any expectation of their immediate change of misbehavior; instead, accept them as who they are with their imperfections, and cultivate your love and compassion for them. So, continue to focus your own relationship with God to experience your own healing. Your faith in Christ gives you salvation and hope not just for yourself but also for the repentance of your loved ones. Yes, as a believer, you could be the light that leads your unsaved or wayward loved ones to their own repentance and salvation. God can do anything and everything in your life. With God’s love, just wait and be patient.

Without God’s love, an unbeliever could become so obsessed and preoccupied with the thing loved that would lead to an irrational act. 

An Illustration

 A 10-year-old boy shot and killed his mother on November 21, 2022. The boy allegedly claimed that he took the gun from his mother’s bedroom down to the basement, where his mother was doing her laundry. Initially, he claimed that he was twirling the gun around his fingers when it went off and “accidentally” killed his mother.

But, according to The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, the boy later confessed that he carried out the heinous act out of his irrational anger after his mother refused to buy him a VR headset. Members of his family further revealed the 10-year-old boy’s many previous episodes of erratic anger and rage issues, such as setting fire at home and causing explosion when his demands were rejected by his mother.

Living by faith: Believe in God who can do anything and everything for you in your everyday life and living. This is your "trust" in God. 

Stephen Lau

Anything Is Everything OR Nothing?

Anything Is Everything OR Nothing?

Living in this material world is all about struggling and surviving. The good news is that it is a human race in which there are really no real winners and losers in the end. But no matter what, we all have to finish that race somehow, with no exception. Just do your very best, and let the Creator do the rest to help you finish your own race with grace and dignity. The wisdom of your body, your mind, and your spirit may awaken and rejuvenate you along the rest of your life journey.

Living is always a discovery process. Life is a journey of self-discovery—finding who you are, why you are here, what you really need, and how you may meet your basic needs, so that you, like every one else, can fulfill some of your life goals and purposes that are exclusively designed for you. But to do just that, you need profound human wisdom and spiritual wisdom to continue that journey as if everything is a miracle.

Albert Einstein once said: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as if nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is a miracle.”

Indeed, life is a miracle in itself. Being alive is a miracle. Having your breaths is already a miracle. Everything in life is a miracle.

To truly believe and appreciate the miracle of life, you need the wisdom to grasp the full meaning of anything is everything, everything is nothing, and nothing is everything—they may all ultimately lead to your self-awakening, without which you will continue to live as if nothing is a miracle.

What is meant by “anything is everything”? It may have different meanings and different interpretations to different individuals.

First of all, human perceptions are subjective and individualized: they are affected not only by the five senses, but also by the unique experiences of an individual, as well as by the indelible memories of those experiences retained in the mind of that individual. Therefore, what is important to you may not be as important to others, and vice-versa. For this reason, anything could be everything to you, but not to others.

An illustration

Near the end of 2016, a road rage occurred in Arkansas that ended in the tragic death of a 3-year-old child. 

A woman, with her 3-year-old grandson sitting at the back of her car, stopped at a stop sign. A man in the car right behind honked her for not starting her car immediately, but the woman honked back; thus the road rage began with the man firing a gun shot at the back of the woman’s car.

Stopping too long at a stop sign,  or wanting to get to a place on time might be everything to the man. Having the right to remain where she was might also be everything to the woman, so she naturally honked back.  

Unfortunately, that anything-is-everything incident ended in tragedy—the death of the woman’s three-year-old grandson being shot dead while sitting at the back of her car.

In real life, anything could be everything to real people—it all depends on their respective perspectives of anything is everything.

A frog in a well

In many ways, many of us are just like a frog in a well, looking up at the limited sky above, in that we see only ourselves, and no one else, and therefore anything is everything to us. In other words, we see only our own needs and desires that have to be fulfilled and gratified no matter how, but without seeing those in others.

Just like the man in the car rage who saw only his own need to get going, but without even considering why the woman might be stalling her car at the stop sign and not moving ahead right away.

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Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Perceptions and Realities

Enjoyment comes from the thinking mind, connected to the body. 

The human brain is composed of neurons or nerve cells that transmit information and messages; they’re the building blocks of the brain for the efficient functioning of the thinking mind.

Neurons are responsible for all human behaviors in the form of perceptions, which then trigger a mental process in the thinking mind that may result in an action or an emotion. If the process becomes instinctive, then the output in the form of actions or emotions is also automatic and predictable. That’s how attitudes and habits are formed, including the fight-or-flight response to any dangerous situation. This automatic or spontaneous mental process is often not “by choice” but “by instinct."

This “learned” and “acquired” mental process is often responsible for thinking and actions, as well as for beliefs and emotions. So, it’s important for the thinking mind to do the following: recognizing the instinctive or automatic mental process; challenging its reality or validity to see through the myths or even the deceptions behind; and then changing the mental process by taking appropriate actions accordingly.

The Bottom Line

Living in wisdom is the capability of the thinking mind to recognize the deceptions behind the so-called “realities” perceived and processed by the thinking mind, that is, the capability to separate the sheep from the goats.

Living by faith, you get your spiritual wisdom from God to perceive the differences between sheep and goats, that is, the differences between realities and half-truths.

Perceiving and Processing

The thinking mind processes all life experiences, which then become thoughts and memories, and ultimately the raw materials of the thinking process by the thinking mind.

According to James Allen, author of As A Man Thinketh, humans are “makers of themselves” and the human mind is the “master-weaver, both of the inner garment of character and the outer garment of circumstance.” That is, humans may have become who they are and what they’ve now become by way of their own thinking over the years.

So, life is all about mind over matter. Harnessing mind power is understanding the exact functioning of the thinking mind and how it may positively or negatively affect the thinking process, and then learning some strategies to fully utilize the mind power to live in wisdom.

Life Experiences

An individual’s life experiences are unique in that they’re the byproducts of all the happenings in the lifespan of that individual. Those life experiences are determined by two pivotal players: choices and circumstances.

Choices, resulting in actions or inactions, bring about consequences as well as circumstances affecting life in general and in specific.

Circumstances can come from self-inflicting internal circumstances or from those uncontrollable external circumstances.

An Illustration

A person had to complete a project and submit a report on that project. That person had sufficient time to do what he or she was supposed to do, but that person chose to procrastinate until the last minute. An unforeseeable event happened and made it impossible for that person to finish the work on time, thus creating a “self-inflicting” circumstance of anxiety, frustration, and undue stress that might affect the subsequent choices of that person.

Of course, sometimes personal choices may not be able to alter the uncontrollable external circumstances, but they may still play a primary role in the reactions and adaptations to those external circumstances beyond their control. For example, in the devastating earthquake and tsunami that struck Japan in 2011, the Japanese people demonstrated their remarkable resilience in their reactions and adaptations to the uncontrollable external circumstances inflicted on them by nature.

The Bottom Line

Living is all about choices and consequences from those choices, and that has much to do with causes and results—they often become the components of life experiences.

Living by faith: You often make the right choices with your own accountability to the consequences through God’s Helper, the Holy Spirit.

Stephen Lau

The Chinese Proverbs

The Chinese Proverbs

"Do today's work, today." Traditional

"A kind man sees kindness, the wise man sees wisdom." Book of Changes

"Practice makes for true knowledge." Tuotuo

"Failure is the mother of success." Traditional

"Wanting to know everything is the worst of follies." Zhuang Zi

"To fare well, a man must trust in his feelings." Zhuang Zi

"Better to display your ugliness than to hide your ignorance." Traditional

To succeed, you must set your goals and then take your appropriate actions with no delay and no procrastination. Your knowledge must be focused, instead of diversified, while your emotions must be positive due to anticipated failures.

 Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

The Gift of Grace

Human relationships are complex and difficult. Jesus’ parable of the king settling debts with his servants (Matthew 18: 23-34) attests to the complexity and difficulty of interpersonal relationships.

The major source of conflicts in human relationships is the inability to fully comprehend God’s mercy - which is His gift of grace - something freely given, something totally unearned and undeserved, and something never to be repaid. Due to the lack of understanding of the mystery and significance of the gift of grace, or the refusal to believe something that is too good to be true, many of us, ironically enough, cannot and will not receive that gift of grace, although it is freely given to each and every one of us.

Indeed, many Christians, read about grace, hear about grace in Sunday sermons, sing about grace in their hymns, and even believe grace in their heads, but they never fully live in the gift grace. They simply do not have the faith to live it out.

We need living in faith to believe in the power of grace; we need living in faith to believe that we are truly and totally forgiven through the gift of grace. The unforgiven become unforgiving, and the unforgiving will not be forgiven, and hence the vicious cycle of emotional conflicts and broken human relationships.

To illustrate, when you take your marriage vow, you solemnly promise to love and care for your spouse “for better or for worse.” But this is the tallest order in a marriage. Your marriage partner owes you a debt (or so you think!) because he or she falls short of your expectations. As a result, you become angry and resentful. Without God’s saving grace, you see yourself as unforgiven and unacceptable to God. In turn, you become unforgiving and unaccepting towards your spouse. The outcome may be a divorce or at best an unhappy marriage.

What you need is living in faith - faith that God has forgiven you for your shortcomings and wrong doings. Likewise, you become more forgiving and accepting towards your spouse for all his or her shortcomings and wrong doings. Jesus said: “. . . freely you have received, freely give.” (Matthew 10:8). Remember, a recipient of the gift of grace must also be gracious to others - a prerequisite, not a choice.

You have to allow God to do for you what only God can do, which is, in essence, giving the gift of grace. You have to understand, receive, and live out God's gift of grace, and this is living in faith.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau