Loving Others

Loving Others

Loving others leads to the understanding of “oneness with all life”—humans are inter-connected with one another. Understanding this basic law of nature that “no man is an island” and all humans are somehow "connected" with one another enables the alignment of the body, the mind, and the soul to live in this complex and complicated world.

“Oneness with all life” leads to the love of others around and to the awareness of the presence of God or that of a Higher Being. Genuine love of others is the first step toward spirituality.

Empathy and Sympathy

Empathy is more than just sympathy. It’s a deep understanding of the painful experiences of another individual that are as meaningful as one’s own because either one has experienced them, or one can somehow realistically put oneself in that individual’s shoes. Sympathy, on the other hand, is only an acknowledgment of another individual’s tragic and traumatic emotions and feelings, as well as an offering of comfort and assurance to that individual.

Empathy is inherent human goodness that may not be easily expressed as sympathy due to lack of courage. 

Sympathy involves only an understanding of another individual’s problems, such as what it’s like to be poor without a job or to be abused physically by someone, while one may still somehow "distance" oneself from that individual. But empathy, on the other hand, involves one’s feeling that individual’s heart in one’s own heart and seeing that individual’s problems with one’s own eyes. Empathy is not a natural human habit; it must be cultivated and developed before it can exist in the heart and the mind.

An Illustration

There was a Jewish story of a man who died and was shown two images in both heaven and hell, in which people were sitting at both sides of a long table with a meal before each of them.  He noticed that the people in hell were starving, because each of them had a spoon that was "much too long" to fit into his or her own mouth. However, the people in heaven were well-fed, because each was using the same long spoon to feed the person across the table.

Compassion and Loving-kindness

Compassion means “suffering together.” It’s an emotion or a feeling that arises when one is seeing another individual’s intense suffering, such that one feel motivated to relieve the suffering from that individual.

Loving-kindness is an act of kindness, motivated by love, and expressed to one’s fellow human beings. Loving-kindness is expressed in human behaviors. To optimize this behavior, one develops a mindset for love and care, which should become a habit or second nature.

Loving-kindness is also an act of love that one consciously expresses to another individual simply because that individual has the same desire to be happy and to avoid suffering. Accordingly, one’s response reflects one’s own love for that individual, irrespective of the misbehavior of that individual toward one. However, that doesn’t imply that one should accept, approve, or even condone the inappropriate behavior of that individual.

Loving-kindness is an attempt to change the inappropriate behavior of that individual, irrespective of the outcome, because the attempt is out of one’s compassion and love for that individual.

Follow the practice of Dalai Lama, the Tibetan spiritual leader. According to Dalai Lama, on the very first meeting with any individual, he trains himself to feel that the individual is simply “a fellow human being with the same desire to be happy and to avoid suffering as myself.” With that oneness-of-all mindset, Dalai Lama then becomes immediately “connected” to everybody, without any exception.

Also, follow in the footsteps of C.S. Lewis, author, and intellectualist, who shows how one can “discipline” any negative emotions by giving another person “a big smile” and behaving as if he were a “loving” person.

Living by faith: Showing empathy and sympathy, as well as compassion and loving-kindness to those around you is a strong testament to your faith and obedience to your loving God. 

Stephen Lau

Timeless Transformation

With faith in God, transformation can happen right away, or it may take many years.

An illustration

Esther Chan came to Hong Kong from China. She had lived an unhappy childhood: her father was abusive and alcoholic, driving her mother to several suicidal attempts. Esther was expelled from her high school due to her compulsive stealing and her drug abuse and addiction.

At age 19, Esther married her first husband and had her baby girl. But her life was meaningless and worthless, giving her hopelessness, when she broke up with her husband who took custody of their daughter. Esther’s adult life began to spiral out of control when she became involved in drug trafficking and was subsequently sentenced to prison four times.     

In the prison, Ester heard for the first time from the pastor about the love of Jesus and His forgiveness. But Esther was unable to express her faith in the hope of unconditional love and forgiveness from God.

Then, Esther was reconnected with the family of a boyfriend she had grown up with. His mother took Esther to church. At one time, Esther even made a public stand to declare her belief in Christ. But Esther had no true repentance or genuine obedience to Jesus as her Savior and Lord.

So, Esther continued for years her life of addiction and indulgence in sins and wrongdoings.

However, one day, a miracle happened in her life that ultimately turned her around completely.

Esther was renting a room in an apartment lived by scoundrels and prostitutes. One evening, after taking her drugs, she took to the street where she countered a man, and they talked for a while. Later, she awoke in her bed and found that she was naked. She had no recollection of what had happened to her. Then, to her surprise, Esther found a hundred-dollar bill lying beside her.

At that very moment, Esther suddenly recalled a companion of her youth who broke her addiction through a gospel program. At that very moment, Esther, too, somehow wanted to use her hundred-dollar bill to turn herself to God to break her addiction.

After more than three decades of addiction, Esther finally went to Barnabas Christian Love Service for drug addicts in Hong Kong. She became a “born-again” Christian, who forgave her father, her ex-husband, and all those who had abused her in the past.

At Barnabas Christian Love Service, Esther met her future husband, Andy, who was also an addict but a believer. Later, they got married. After her rehabilitation, Esther was recruited as a “Sharing Minster” at Barnabas Christian Love Service. With the blessings from God, Esther continued with her theology studies, graduated in 2020 with a bachelor’s degree in pastoral ministry. In 2021, she began her full-time ministry at Barnabas Christian Love Service.

Esther Chan’s long and winding belief journey is a strong testament to the miracle of hope from God that might take years, if not decades, to become a reality.

Living by faith: Believe in God with hope that demands patience and perseverance. Yes, God can and will transform any believer with trust and obedience.

Stephen Lau

 

Lifestyles of Living by Faith

There are several different lifestyles in your life for you to choose from. The way you choose to live determines how well you will live for the rest of your life, and how close you will be to God.

A Simple Lifestyle

A simple lifestyle—which is deleting all the trimmings of life—is your key to unlocking the door to your happiness.  

1.1. Less for More

Live in simplicity, which is living less for more.

You will need your mindfulness to become aware of the essentials of your life, that is, your needs and not your wants. Mindfulness provides you with your daily meditation to give you your clarity of thinking through relaxation of your body and your mind.

So, doing less may give you more. For example, today many work seven days a week, doing two or more jobs, to earn more money to get more of what they want, and not what they need. But doing less may give you more time to enjoy what you need and desire.

1.2. Now for Future

In the now, with your clarity of thinking, you will see the ultimate truths of yourself, of others, as well as of everything around you. In the now, you may look more objectively at the realities of everything happening to you.

The now is for real, but the future is uncertain and unpredictable.

So, live in the now, with no plan for the future, and no expectation of profit from the past.

1.3. Effortless for Over-Doing

All your daily endeavors require your efforts, but not your over-doing, which is over-exerting your efforts. Too much of anything upsets the balance of the Laws of Nature.

The wise have always believed in effortless effort.

1.4. Down for Up

Everything in life follows a natural cycle—what goes up must eventually come down; success is followed by failure. The natural cycle of all things teaches you to be patient of the outcome of all things happening in your life, so you do not need to do more to get more.

So, what is down may go up again, and what is up will come down. That is the spontaneity of the cycle of all things in life. So, you have no fear and no worry in your life.

1.5. No choosing for Picking

Picking this or that is often the sickness of the human mind and the futility to control what is essentially uncontrollable. That often leads to the bondage of stress.

Accepting and embracing whatever that has happened to you and then learn your valuable lessons is the way to go.

So, stop your choosing and picking this or that to control your life.

Letting go

Living in simplicity is letting go of all your attachments to the material things in this secular world that demand your over-doing, such as wearing a designer’s dress, driving an expensive car, living in a rich neighborhood, and many others to gratify your wants and desires in your flesh.

Letting go is living a stress-free life. Remember, all your attachments are only your wants and desires in your flesh.

An Illustration of Humility and Letting Go

Ann Russell Miller, a celebrated socialite from San Francisco, also known as Sister Mary Joseph, with ten children and nineteen grandchildren, had grown up in luxury and privilege. For decades, she’d been living a life of incredible wealth.

Instead of shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue, and decorating herself with jewelry from Tiffany, she suddenly decided to give up everything, and became a nun devoted to living in poverty for the rest of her life. That unbelievable event happened decades ago, and it was then widely reported in the media across the country.

Why did she make such a drastic and incredible change in her life? She said she’d a calling, a true vocation that was very hard to understand for the public, even for the close members of her family.

The bottom line: Living by faith and believing in God, you focus less on your attachments to the material world, and more on others around you. 

Living by faith:  Faith changes your lifestyles, making you do just the opposite. All you need is your trust and your obedience to God, who can "transform" you into anyone.

Stephen Lau

 

The 3Ds in Faith

Faith demands 3Ds from anyone who wants to live by faith. To believe in God and to live in faith, the 3Ds are denial, devotion, and doing. 

When Jesus called men to be His disciples, one of the fundamental qualifications was a "single eye"--the single vision that sees nothing other than the total commitment to achieve that single goal in life, which is to serve God and to spread His Word. In the Bible, when the disciples followed Jesus, they left everything behind and followed Him immediately without second thoughts.

"And another also said, "I will follow You, Lord; but first permit me to say goodbye to those at home." But Jesus said to him, 'No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.'" Luke 9: 61-62

Looking back is a distraction, and no one could follow Jesus as a "distracted" disciple. Likewise, to believe in God, you no longer live a life of convenience but a life of denial, devotion, and doing. 

So, you must show your denial of attachments to the material world; you must demonstrate your devotion to your faith by reading and meditating His Word every day; and you must indicate your doing to prove that actions are louder than words. 

"Allow the dead to bury their own dead, but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God." Luke 9: 59-60

Denial means "dying to self" and allowing God to take complete control of one's life. Denial, which is the willingness to "obey" God, engenders devotion that entails loving God with one's whole heart.

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment." Matthew 22:37

With denial and devotion, one can then put one's commitment into actions, choices, and priorities through one's doing.

"I can do nothing on my own initiative. Just as I do not seek my own will, but the will of the one who sent me." John 5:30

Living by faith: Just follow the 3Ds all your life, and God's Spirit will help you all the way.

Stephen Lau

Living By Faith Is Living In Miracles

 

Self-Reliant and God-Dependent

Living by faith is the "tallest order" in life and living in this secular world. Why? Because faith is not only in God but also in ourselves. In addition, we need to strike a balance between the two. 

If we become too "God-dependent", and we don't do anything ourselves, we may become "fatalistic"--thinking that whatever happens in our lives has to come from God. On the other hand, if we become too "self-reliant", we may become too self-centered, thinking that we can do just about anything to get what we want without God. So, we need to strike a balance between "God dependent" and "self-reliant." 

First of all, we need to believe that God has absolute control and power in this world, and that at the same time He has given us the gift of free will, which means that we, too, have to play a pivotal role in God's sovereignty in this world. 

"Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit which is from God, that we may know the things which have been freely given to us by God . . ." Corinthians 2:12

Yes, God has given us the salvation, but we need to work at our salvation with faith, trust, and obedience, just as Apostle Paul said: "work out your own salvation with fear and trembling." Philippians 2:12

So, we need to rely on ourselves, through faith, to become obedient with fear and trembling.

Living by faith: Believing in God is a tall order; having faith in God is a taller order; living by faith is the tallest order.

Stephen Lau

Living By Faith Is Living In Miracles

The Importance of Life Experiences

The life experiences of an individual are "everything" to that individual because they inform that individual how to "think" and what to do with those experiences. Yes, your life experiences are uniquely yours because they’re the byproducts of what happens to you throughout your life journey, which is determined by two pivotal players: your choices and your 

·       Your choices result in your actions or inactions, which often bring about consequences as well as circumstances that may affect your life in general and in specific.

·       Your circumstances are the events that happen to you and around you. There’re two types: self-inflicting internal circumstances, such as your procrastination, affecting the subsequent events and happenings in your life; uncontrollable external circumstances, such as accidents due to no fault of your own.

To illustrate, you had to complete a project and submit a report on that. You had sufficient time to do what you were supposed to do, but you chose to procrastinate until the last minute. An unforeseeable event happened and made it impossible for you to finish your work on time, thus creating a "self-inflicting" circumstance of frustration and undue stress that might affect your other choices you subsequently made.

Personal choices may not be able to alter uncontrollable external circumstances, but they may still play a primary role in one’s reactions and adaptations to those external circumstances that’re beyond one’s control. For example, in the devastating earthquake and tsunami that struck Japan in 2011, the Japanese people demonstrated their remarkable resilience in their reactions and adaptations to the uncontrollable external circumstances inflicted on them by nature.

Remember: Living is all about choices and consequences from those choices, and that has much to do with causes and results—they often become the components of life experiences.

Perceptions and Five Senses

The five senses form the basics of human sensations: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. These five senses can best be epitomized in sex (the “s” stands for “senses” and the “ex” for “experiences”)—all the five sensual pleasures experienced in the very act of sex.

Here are two questions for reflection: Are sensual pleasures synonymous with your happiness in life? Does happiness come solely from sensual pleasures?

The truth is that the five senses don’t tell you everything; as a matter of fact, they often give you only the half-truths and even nothing but the truths.

The person who uses only the vision of his or her eyes is “conditioned” by what he or she sees. It’s the intuition of the spirit that really perceives reality. The wise have known for a long time that what you know through your eyes is not the same as the intuition of your spirit. If that’s the case, sadly, most people rely too much on what they see, thinking that “seeing is believing” and thus lose themselves in the realities of external things. 

An Illustration 

In 1997, Richard Alexander from Indiana was convicted as a serial rapist because one of the victims and her fiancé insisted that he was the perpetrator based on what the victim and her fiancé claimed that “they saw with their own eyes.”  But the convicted man was later exonerated and subsequently released in 2001, based on new DNA science and other forensic evidence. Experts explained that a traumatic emotional experience, such as a rape, could “distort” the perception of an individual. That explains why the woman and her fiancé “swore” that Richard Alexander was the rapist, but, evidently, he was not.

Living by faith: Believe in God, who gives you the truths in anything and everything that happens in your life. The other so-called "truths" in the secular world from the media, from others, and even from the self are often deceptive and delusional.

Stephen Lau

Living By Faith Is Living In Miracles

Living By Faith Is Living In Miracles

The Paradoxes of Living by Faith

Living by faith, you must first become a believer in God. To do that, you must have your intent to believe, which begins with your thinking mind to believe the unbelievable—that is, understanding the many paradoxes of life and existence.

Well, what is a paradox? A paradox is a statement with two totally opposite meanings that seem contradictory to each other, and yet when they’re together, they not only are true but also make sense.

Believing in God has many paradoxes: the Creator becomes a human being; the Infinite becomes finite; the Eternal One enters limited time; and death is the only way to eternal life. The Presence of God is another paradox: sometimes humans see God’s love, forgiveness, mercy, and justice; other times humans see only His indifference, condemnation, and even injustice. So, knowing and understanding the presence of the many paradoxes of life is your recognition of your own imperfections, and thus turning yourself to seeking God.

Seeking God requires your humility, which is the opposite of pride. God is above, and you’re below. Humility opens the door to God, who never changes Himself but who forever changes those coming to Him with humility. 

So, your belief becomes your becoming, which is your self-transformation. Believing in God comes with free gifts—eternal life, hope, joy, and peace—and your free will—your freedom of choice to receive or not to receive those free gifts from God. Your freedom of will is based on three essentials:

Faith: Believing in the existence and the presence of God is your obeying His Commandments with your own accountability to God.

Trust: Trusting God is your believing in the veracity of His Word.

“so is my word that goes out from my mouth. 

It will not return to me empty

but will accomplish what I desire

and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah: 55:11

Obedience: Obedience is your doing all the right and the righteous things in your everyday life. This daily task is most difficult, if not impossible, while living in your flesh, already corrupted by your sins. But God provides a Helper, the Holy Spirit, to guide you along the difficult journey of obedience.

Living by faith: Believing in God requires understanding the paradoxes of life, which requires spiritual wisdom.

Stephen Lau

Living By Faith Is Living In Miracles