No Separation No Divorce

The rate of divorce is skyrocketing in the United States, and the U.S. Census estimates about half of marriages end in divorce. According to relationship experts, the number of long-term relationships heading toward separation is now becoming more frequent with a longer lifespan and a growing acceptability of divorce by society. What some experts are saying is that people divorce because they’ve a longer lifespan, and that divorce is no longer a social taboo. The breakups of couples married for several decades are “cold divorces.” The characteristics of these divorces are disengagement, distancing, and isolation from each other. These kinds of divorces are often the products of a gradual buildup. The problems might have festered for years, if not for decades, to the point where neither of the marriage partners cares any more. According to many marriage counselors, there’re benchmarks in a typical marriage where divorce is more apt to occur. 

First, divorces often happen during the initial two years of a marriage when the expected honeymoon period is replaced with the reality of having to get accustomed to each other's attitudes and living habits. 

A second point for divorces is around the five-year to the seven-year mark, when children are typically born. 

Divorces can also happen when the kids leave their parents’ homes. Many empty nesters divorce because they no longer have their children around to hold them together. Without their children, marital love disappears. 

Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology at the University of Washington, once said: “Staying in exactly the right relationship to one another is a very hard thing to maintain every decade. People think you only get closer over time, but that's not necessarily true.” Living by faith and following God’s advice, you choose to “fix” your marriage instead of letting separation happen. You do not throw away your dress before it no longer fits you; instead, you "change" your body or have it "altered" to fit your body once again. Buying a new dress is just like looking for another person. 

The bottom line: You do not just walk away from a marriage you no longer like. A marriage is a "lifetime commitment" for thick and thin, for better and worse that God has destined for you. 

Remember: Failed marital relationships are painful, often causing depressive episodes and mood disorders, not to mention other health issues. A divorce precipitates many custody, financial, and legal matters, and problems that’re often lifelong. 

Living by faith: God gives you your marriage, and He will bless you with wisdom to fix it when problems occur. No separation, and no divorce. With faith, you put your trust in God.

Stephen Lau